Back Scratching Vouchers

Posted on December 15, 2012 by btsandwich

At the moment I’m in Australia. I’ve been bang up for coming here for a long time but never got around to doing it until now. Finally I can strike that bad boy off the bucket list! And since I’m gathering momentum, I might as well see what else I can stamp out while I’m here. Watch this space!

I landed in Brisbane a couple of weeks ago and had a mince around with the missus. I couldn’t believe the prices of stuff! I was pretty outraged and was getting more and more angry at the world every time I had to hand over my hard earned cash. Well, I say “hard earned”… not quite, but they don’t know that. I must remember to share my recent ventures with you… and how I managed to earn a fair decent whack doing something I really enjoyed for only a few hours a week. Next post?

Anyway, after allowing dollar signs to peck my head into submission for two days, I took a minute to have a word with myself. Before long, I was back to feeling like myself again. I’d been blatantly ignoring a lesson, which I myself have bored people with, countless times before. And that is seeing money for what it is…

I don’t mean what it’s made out of and it’s actual value and all that rubbish, that’s irrelevant. I mean what actually is it?

1. What’s money?

Without money, how would things get done? We wouldn’t all just run around doing stuff for nothing, would we? Some of us would I suppose, but loads would just sit back and watch the favours come pouring in while never actually lifting one of their own selfish little fingers. Instead, we’d trade favours:

Eric: “Brenda, d’you fancy comin’ over to mine tonight ‘n’ ironin’ my pyjamas?”

Brenda: “Not really, but I suppose I might if you fix my door handle”

Eric: “No problem!”

All well and good until the following happens:

Eric: “Brenda, d’you fancy comin’ over to mine tonight ‘n’ ironin’ my pyjamas?”

Brenda: “Not really, but I suppose I might if you don a leotard and ballet dance to Swan Lake for me at the theatre”

Eric: “You’ve changed.”

Sometimes you just don’t have what Brenda wants. So what happens now? You hand the weird old lady a blank voucher, which she can then choose to hand over to the theatre in return for that dance she was after. Both your backs are now suitably scratched.

2. Gratitude

Secondly and most importantly, be grateful. You are essentially doing one another a favour. Brenda (or shopkeeper or whoever) is adding value to your life. They are providing you with something you want or need. Be thankful. When the transaction takes place, say “thank you” and mean it. A long drawn out soppy version might go:

Eric: “Brenda, d’you fancy comin’ over to mine tonight ‘n’ ironin’ my pyjamas?”

Brenda: “Not really, but I suppose I might if you don a leotard and ballet dance to Swan Lake for me at the theatre”

Eric: “I’ll tell you what, since I look horrific in lycra, you can have this voucher and go see the real thing instead. You deserve it for ironing my pyjamas. I really don’t like ironing and I’d much rather be watching Attenborough waffling on about birds of paradise. You’ve really made my evening better. I can relax now in the knowledge that when I go to bed, my pyjamas will be all straight and starchy. Aaaah, what a nice warm feeling. Here, take these vouchers and have a really nice night at the theatre. Thank you for making my life sweeter.”

Brenda: “No problem, it’s a deal. I’m really happy that you’re happy. I’m really gonna enjoy the theatre as well, Thank you. In fact, I’ll even iron your pyjamas again in future if you can get my poodle shaved.”

3. Imagine the alternative

What does life smell like without ever having that thing you want/need? Does it absolutely stink? Or is it still quite nice? This is where you normally realise that the amount you’re paying is really not that bad. How crap would it be to not have a phone to call people and be called? To not have any form of transport? To not travel? To not have clean drinking water? To have to sleep on the street? Bills and fares start to look a bit kinder now.

4. What choice do you have?

Realise that a lot of work goes into most products and services and the price is nearly always fair based on what it would take for you to think up/invent/design/make/ship a product yourself or to study/craft/hone/perfect a service and carry it out for yourself. It’s not feasible, thus, the price is fair and everyone’s a winner.

Am I gonna begrudge paying for any of this amazing life experience? Travelling the world and fulfilling a life-long dream. Meeting loads of interesting people and pushing myself in directions that will leave lasting positive effects on me, making me stronger, wiser and deeply, thoroughly satisfied with what I’ve done with my life? Doubt it pal.

Now who needs their pyjamas ironing?

A Dirty Movie Metaphor – Pulling Through Little Challenges

Posted on March 9, 2012 by btsandwich

Last night I was sulking like a bitch. I was in a foul mood and was telling myself all the things I didn’t want to hear. If someone else would have spoken to me that way they’d have earned themselves a right good arse kicking, fact.

Luckily I know how to deal with that infantile, cry baby in there that makes an appearance from time to time. I watch something funny and drown the little shit right out. Moohahaha!!

Imagine my “disappointment” when my funny, ‘cheer me up’ DVD turned out to be damaged. It started pausing, jumping, skipping and generally became unwatchable. Eek, basically. The DVD was a hired one as well so I was already drafting up my angry complaint email in my head. Meanwhile, the button that ejects the DVD from my laptop decided to stop working. Smart.

Deep breath… okay, I can eject the DVD from the ‘My Computer’ folder. That’s that problem solved.

Quick inspection of the DVD reveals no scratches or marking. Hmmm.

Might as well grab a cloth and scrub the living daylights out of the damn thing anyway, just in case… it’s just the ‘done thing’. Back in the laptop and…. MAGIC! It worked.

Big deal, you had a dirty DVD. (true)

What I noticed though, is that when I was stressing out over God-knows-what and was giving it the old ‘why me?!’ I automatically assumed the worst… that the DVD was actually damaged. And even though it was really obvious, it seriously didn’t cross my mind at first to eject the disk internally. That inner tantrum-thrower was too busy getting all worked up!

It was only when I took a second or two to gather my thoughts that I realised there was a different (and really simple) method of approach to work around my restriction. Then even though at face value the underlying problem was completely invisible (no markings on the disk), just trying the thing that normally clears away the problem, did just that… allowing me to spend the remainder of the evening laughing my arse off. Result.

The daft little metaphor

When you’re feeling restricted and life’s not playing out properly, stop and think a minute, because:

There’s always a way around the restriction.
Any apparent damage probably isn’t actually damage and certainly isn’t permanent.
You might not be able to see at first glance why life isn’t running smoothly, but if you do a few things that you know normally make you feel good and make life a bit sweeter, the elusive little specks of grime that are holding you back will generally disappear, setting you back on track.

I’m talking about things like:

Showering away the negative energy, literally scrubbing yourself clean in the shower
Doing some exercise to get the old endorphins flowing
Watching/reading/doing something that inspires you, motivates you or makes you laugh
Getting hydrated
Getting some good healthy food down your neck
Having a chat with someone who makes you feel good about yourself
Letting out any aggression on a pillow or punch bag. Yeah that’s right, slap the stupid thing
Tart yourself up so you look good

Doing stuff like this cleans out the cobwebs and freshens you up. It relieves stress and gets you thinking straight again. It’s kind of like recalibrating yourself.

Just thought I’d share that with you.

[photo sources: crying baby: Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos, idea: Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos]

Fresh Off the Press – BTSs Manifesto…

Posted on January 10, 2012 by btsandwich

No further introduction needed.

: Boss The Sandwich’s Manifesto

And that’s all there is to it!

Smart.

The Wise Old Man on the Deathbed

Posted on December 17, 2011 by btsandwich

Take away the morbidity of the mention of death and look at what we can gain by hurling ourselves forward to the end of our days and making decisions from there. That’s right, the wise old codger on the deathbed is you.

Most people who know me will have heard me say this before… it’s one of my favourites. Stuff like “I know that when I’m on my death bed I won’t look back and think I wish I’d have been miserable more often”.

This is a smart way to operate when it comes to dealing with emotions and making decisions. What would that dying fella say to you if you asked him, “do you wish you’d spent more time being angry?” or “do you wish you’d have smoked a bit more?” or “do you wish you’d have spent more time counting all the things you hate?”

I get the feeling you’d get called something not dissimilar to a right muppet or maybe a moron. And that would be you speaking from a better, wiser vantage point. Listen to that older more experienced you. Whether you like it or not, your current self pales in comparison to that geezer. You’re stupid compared to older wiser you, no offence. How much wiser do you feel now than ten years ago though? Twenty years ago? (Don’t know how old you are so I’ll leave that there). That under-educated, under-experienced baby you look back on is the present you to your even more grown-upper self.

As far as I’m concerned, this could be one of the most useful posts I’ll ever write. Even if I do say so myself! Next time you’re landed with a decision that the old guy could answer better than you, ask him. Next time you’re in a bad mood, get a quick consultation from the old sod and watch him put you straight.

So the question is “When I’m on my deathbed, will I look back and think I wish I would have…………?”

Do the old man a favour, he’s counting on you.

Best Sense Life Lessons x 9

Posted on December 14, 2011 by btsandwich

You can’t plan your entire life perfectly and perfection is impossible. There are billions of unique views and morals and ideas of what an ideal world would be and how you can play your part in it. But the most important world to you is yours. If you’re happy, you are one happy lad closer to making the world a happier place. I can’t tell you what makes you feel good and how to live your life but I think the following nine tips make for a decent track to run on.

Laugh. Whether it’s with someone, at someone, at something, whatever… laugh your nuts off at any and every opportunity. Why wouldn’t you anyway?
Whether we like it or not and as cheesy as it sounds, make other people smile and you’ll feel good about yourself. They don’t have to know you’re doing it for selfish reasons, you get yours!
Make the most of what you’ve got. Not just resources, but attributes. If you’re good looking for example, enjoy it. Don’t let people tell you that looks are somehow not as good as intelligence. It’s just a different attribute. There’s no need to be a jack of all trades, just be the best you can with what you’ve got (which’ll probably turn out to be more than you thought anyway).
Love stuff. It’s loads better than liking. Love music, love food, love your mates, love partying, love your hobbies, even love your missus… might as well! Do it consciously though, say to yourself “I absolutely effing love this!” Feels really good!
Have an emotional outlet. Whether it’s some form of art like writing, painting, sculpture or a more physical outlet like sport, exercise or yoga, it will help keep you balanced. Scream if you feel like screaming, but harnessing your emotions and using them to express yourself and grow wins, I reckon.
Have a sense of humour. Don’t take yourself, or indeed life, too seriously. Serious people are normally boring. You can’t put a price on a good sense of humour. It’s a mega selling point.
Forget regret. Learn from mistakes and do what it takes to raise the stakes. Poetry.
Get back up. No I don’t mean hire a squad of gangsters to back your arse up if you get in trouble (might not be a bad idea though, eh?!), I mean if you fall down, get back up, dust yourself off and have a rematch. It worked for Rocky Balboa.
Count your blessings regularly and put things in perspective. How much do your problems really matter in the grand scheme of things? Most really don’t. Either realise time will do its thing and put the problem to bed early, or take the appropriate action to fix it.

That should just about do it. It’s a shame it only came to nine though… if I was going to add a tenth, I’d have to say laugh a bit more. Word.

Trust Big Al

Posted on November 22, 2011 by btsandwich

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” – Albert Einstein

Nicely done big Al. Sometimes it takes a genius to point out the screamingly obvious. To make changes in life, make changes in your activities, mindset and attitude. That’s all it takes! What could be easier?